Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Ugh…just ugh

Posted: February 9, 2012 in Uncategorized
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I’ve been staying with my mom the past week, and unfortunately she has this rule; no eating between meals cause she’s on this weird diet.  Anyways, hypoglycemic me has to eat a lot more than I realized, and her meals just didn’t cut it. However I didn’t notice till my mom had gone over to a friend’s house yesterday. A friend I avoid at all costs.

I was sitting on my bed, but, joy oh joy, when I stood up, I passed out. A few hours later I woke up, my face had an imprint of all the ridges and buttons on my alarm clock on it, my back hurt, and my mom’s dog was chewing on my shoes. Thankfully, I was getting a new pair anyway. Groggily, I made my way to the bathroom, splashed water on my face{It didn’t wake me up if that’s what you think}, and went to the kitchen, and drank a glass of water. {This didn’t work either}

I sat down at the table, next thing I knew I was waking up with my face in mom’s ashtray. {Did I mention I hate smokers?} Since my face had still been wet, the ash was more like paste, ugly paste rubbed on the entire left side of my face. {EWE!}

I decided to take a shower, I didn’t pass out in there but when I got out I ate, I no longer cared about my mom’s damned rules. Good news is, breaking the rules didn’t matter, my mom is controlled by her friends, who hate me for not being a druggie. So when she came home, she was high and pissed anyway….so all I did was give her an  actual reason to scream and yell. Aren’t I talented!

Well, anyways, I’m tired and still can’t see completely straight{But pretty close so…}, and thank the lords, am going home tomorrow.

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Oh…how I am talented

Posted: December 7, 2011 in Uncategorized

Yesterday was  amusing for me. Or rather anyone near me. First things first I woke up, ten minutes early with this dreadful sinking in my gut. I went to get up, big mistake, I had a Great Dane, a Saint  Bernard, two border collies, and eight cats on my bed. Thankfully my beds just a pile of mattresses on the floor otherwise I’d need a new bed. When I finally wiggled free and went to go get dressed I found snow in my closet. There’s a hole in the roof, and just going off the drift of the stuff in my closet floor, I’m gonna say it snowed last night. So, I got to lug all my clothes to the drier and I need new boots. But that’s not because of the snow, that because the Great Dane, Arlen, was hungry. Cute.

On the bright side, we finally got moisture here, but now I gotta go get little dogs out of little drifts. Not because they’re stuck but because they refuse to move.

There’s this board between the hall and the kitchen, my room is the only room at the end of this hall. I hear my cousin honk at me so I realize I’m late I come running out,{Do you see where this is going?} Anyways I jump over the board, land on the ground and realize I forgot the house keys. I turn around and like an idiot, dive over the board, onto the laundry basket, which left a nice scratch on my face. I curse, run back to my room grab my keys, run back out, jump and….my toes caught on the board so I tilted forward onto my face in a painfully funny fashion. {It’s okay, laugh, everyone else did so I won’t mind. I’ll actually be disappointed if you don’t laugh. My pain wasn’t for nothing.}

I get up and go out to the truck, and since I’ve been staying with a friend that Cassie May doesn’t like, she jumped to the conclusion that we got in a fight. {Ha! Mike’s more apt to force feed me than anything else.} Took me an hour to calm her then another ten minutes to get her to stop laughing at me long enough to actually drive away from the house. Then I sat through two hours of speeches for something I don’t really get. I’m not vegan, don’t support vegans either.  I might love animals but I also like not being in the hospital, which is what happens when I don’t eat meat.

FAIL! EPIC!

Posted: November 22, 2011 in Uncategorized

Today my family decided foolishly that their oh so brilliant daughter should bake cookies. I warned them I did. But there’s this thing called ignore, I’m pretty sure my family invented that shit. Anyways everything was going great, till I opened the oven to check. Something was not quite right with my cookies. Mission completed unsuccessfully. Should’ve aborted halfway through.

Anyways, now that my tale of highly amusing failed chocolate chip frisbees is over lets move on. Cats, aren’t they lovely. Dog, just as lovely. Spiders, fuck off you assholes spiders are creepy crawlies that are best seen from several yards away. Okay my random subject change is over because spiders bug me, and speaking of over so is my day. YAY! FUCK YES! SLEEP IS MIIINE!

……….

IN A FEW HOURS!

Intro I guess…

Posted: November 21, 2011 in Uncategorized

I would start out with a really boring detailed explanation of my day, but you don’t give a rat’s ass, so I don’t think I’ll bother with it.{Please don’t give a rat’s ass, I will straight up scream and throw the rat’s butt right back at you.} The only thing this {Speaking of this, what is it?} is for is posting some of my poems, thoughts and maybe things that amuse me.

Shit. I had something else to say but “I forgot it, I hate forgetting things because for some strange reason I never remember them. Maybe I had nothing to say? Oh right, the introduction of myself, is that legal, I think so, right? wait no I’m thinking of something really nasty and perverted so I’ll stop typing that train of thought before I get myself in trouble.

Okay so….ummm….I’m a person, I know how to type, I know how to spell the word shit, fuck and a whole bunch of naughty words! And I’m short like 5ft-ish, with sneakers though so I’m probably only 4ft 11in or some shizzins like that. My hair used to be a really pretty honey brown, but when I was eight started growing out white, as in old people white. I keep it died now, usually burgundy, black or dark brown. I have really funny looking greenish gold eyes,I’m told they look like my cat’s eyes but I’m not sure I trust the teller.